Friday, November 14, 2025

Sprawlvember 14: Corporate Gossip

 



Well what better way to do corporate gossip than a random chart. What kind of things with this Sprawlvember entry bring to the ears of your runners? So let's roll a D10! 

Overheard Corporate Gossip

1 – The largest stockholder in the company is actually a rogue AI that is skimming money from various projects and using that to buy shares.

2 – In the restrooms everyone is being monitored. When their waste is flushed it goes through a scanner to check for potential health issues. But instead of warning anyone it just puts them a list for folks that need to be fired before they get sick.

3 – The food that is given out for “morale purposes” is laced with nanotech that alters your neural make up making your more loyal and squashing free thought.

4 – The CEO has been dead for months now. They’re just using a hologram of him on a video feed so the board controls everything. I mean, have you seen him face to face lately?

5 – If we get our profits up and reduce the workforce necessary to deliver they will make the drinks from the lounge Espresso machine free for a week. I’ve fired eight people already!

6 – Anyone caught wearing a suit from Delusions of Grandeur will be fired for dress code violations.

7 – Security is going to start doing complete neuro scans on everyone when they leave to make sure they aren’t trafficking sensitive data out of the offices.

8 – The DNA samples that were taken when we were hired all went to a top secret cloning project. They eventually just want to grow new workers instead of hiring them.

9 – The police have somebody in deep undercover in the offices trying to find proof of our illegal work into fetal development altering prenatal vitamins. You didn’t know we were doing that? Then forget I said anything.

10 – Our contracts have a clause that will cause total forfeiture of shares if we invest any amount in a competitor.



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