Friday, January 17, 2025

Roll a D10 - Cyberpunk Drinks

 


The big corps are always trying to come up with the next big thing. This is doubled for those making consumable products. So here are ten alcoholic drinks on the market in a cyberpunk future. Just don't ask how safe they are to consume because the FDA was disbanded long ago. 

Cyberpunk era alcoholic drinks

1 – Bud Neon. When you twist the top off it lights up in a random neon color.

2 – ClearBeer. Looks like water, hits you like a pilsner.

3 – Squeaker. A cocktail that makes your vocal cords tighten up making your voice high pitched.

4 – Frosty. Makes you exhale clouds of steam like you’re exhaling in a very cold environment.

5 – Clear Chaser. A nano infused drink that quickly (a few minutes) clears alcohol from your system.

6 – Fruity Freak. Each time you take a drink it makes you taste a different fruit flavor.

7 – Phantom Limb. Makes you feel a sensual tingle anywhere you have cyberware implanted.

8 – Extra Time. The alcohol is tailored to be time released after drinking so your buzz lasts longer.

9 – BUZZ. An orange drink that isn’t alcoholic until you hit it with an electrical charge.

10 – Rabid Dogg. A milky white drink that foams up in your mouth.




Thursday, January 16, 2025

Six Pack - Things for a Techie to make

 


Sometimes a techie seems pretty useless in a game. Until you get creative with the things they can build. Here are six ideas for neat little devices your tech guru in the party can make that may prove useful. 

Six Things for a Techie to make in Cyberpunk

1 – A pocket universal ‘off switch’. What looks like a standard remote with only a few buttons sends out a signal that gives an off command to anything that accepts one wirelessly. Televisions, video cameras, cars, the list goes on.

2 – Decoder Headphones. They pick up nearby low distance radio signals, like squad communication gear, and focus in on that particular frequency, letting you listen in on the conversation.

3 – The Plastic Breaker. A sonic device that is suction cupped to either glass or plastic windows. It then goes through a series of vibration and high pitched sonic pulses until it finds the one that makes the surface break. Can be noisy and sometimes may take a few minutes.

4 – Fuel Worm. A small snake like device that is slid into a vehicles gas tank via the fuel port. It then filters the gas through a nozzle and breaks down the chemical compounds. Rendering it inert enough so that the vehicle cannot run.

5 – A pair of sunglasses where one lens is a small video screen showing the wearer what is going on behind them.

6 – Foam bombs. Four canisters of expanding foam spray hooked to a small explosive charge with various forms of detonation. Great for filling up small hallways, stairwells or killing people in ventilation shafts.




Wednesday, January 15, 2025

Review - Uncle Rays Chips

 


Don't eat these. 

Uncle Ray's Sweet Black Pepper Bacon potato chips. Yeah... that doesn't wasn't bacon. There was a smoking flavor there but it wasn't the good kind. There was a sweet flavor there, but again it wasn't the good kind. Black pepper, never tasted that at all. Plus these bad flavors coated your mouth and lingered for much longer than anyone would want. 

These are bad. 



Sunday, January 12, 2025

RPG Review - Demon Generator

 


Just a quick fast little review today. The Demon Generator from Piecewise Games over on DrivethruRPG. 

I'll be quite honest here, it's mostly just what it says on the tin. You pick the type of demon you want and then you roll on the charts for some various creative cues and pull them all together. It doesn't all magically lock into place and you have to do some creative thinking to pull it together. But what it comes up with really helps lock you into that flow. 

So like they said, no art, no filler, no bullshit. It's straight forward a list of table used for generating some details.

For only a single solitary dollar (US currency) I'd say it was worth the investment. I'll be using it to pull some odd entities for some of my modern and near modern day horror games I run on occasion. Should be fun. 

If you go through the link above and purchase this (or anything else from Drivethru on that visit) I'll get a little kick back. Which helps support me and this blog allowing me to pick up more stuff to review in the future. You can also show your support through my KoFi page as well. 

Saturday, January 11, 2025

Movie Review - Alone in the Dark (2005)

 


Alone in the Dark

Watch it on Tubi for free.

Or buy a copy on Amazon if you are a fool. 


God help me I’m watching another Uwe Boll movie. I swore I would never do this again, but here I am. It’s time for another terrible ‘adaption’ of a video game from the butcher of any IP he’s handed.


Let’s open with a stupidly long text scroll info dumping a lot of shit no one will ever remember. Not only is a text scroll they have somebody reading it as well. Because Puke Bowl thinks movie audiences are completely illiterate I’m assuming. Fucking hell.


Right off the bat I have to say the dialogue is so absolutely dreadful. Much of it really just makes no sense, disjointed, and delivered with all the effort of an elementary school play. They push in the exposition explaining what’s going on, which of course completely negates the need for that intro scrolling wall of text. They could have completely dropped that shit but instead they like telling you ahead of time what they are going to tell you later.


So very badly shot at almost every chance they could. Let’s walk away from the house just so we can turn back around and walk into the house. Just really dumb shots like this over and over again. Here’s a box with a gun and a bunch of bullets that hurt the creatures… so when one shows up at your house you get as far away from that gun as possible. Hey come over here and talk to me so I can then walk away and leave you where I just called you too. Over and fucking over again.


Tara Reid cannot act, she’s like a cardboard cutout of herself with the mouth rigged to move. Evidently there was a sex scene in the original release that’s not in the version I just watched. That scene is probably the only reason Uwe Balls had her in the film, he wanted to see her naked. Stephen Dorff comes along to basically play Stephen Dorff in every movie you’ve seen him in. Christian Slater as the main character Edward Carnby does the best he can do but with what he’s been given to work with, well nobody can make this shit sandwich work. Some of the other acting jobs are pretty dire as well. Probably due in part to complete and utter lack of any constructive direction what so ever.


People trash the special effects in this one. But, to be honest, I’ve seen worse being pumped out today. But it really is a sloppy mix of sloppy practical effects and CGI mixed together. With to much focus on the gore which really doesn’t help a damn thing because this is no where near a horror movie like the Uwe Bore thought he was making.


Every damn thing about the ‘story’ or the way scenes are shot feel like they’re trying to imitate other, much better, movies. Like Eww Boll couldn’t actually create a complete original thought and instead borrowed ideas from everyone else. Then mashed them all together while smiling like a blathering idiot.


Now this is better than House of the Dead or Bloodrayne… but that’s not saying much. This is very early 2000’s direct to bargain bin DVD fair at best. They spent 20 million on this absolute shit show, that’s like throwing stacks of cash into a wood chipper.


Blair Erickson wrote the early versions of the script and, well, you can pretty much tell what happened by what he said in this ‘Something Awful’ interview:


The original script took the Alone in the Dark premise and depicted it as if it were actually based on a true story of a private investigator in the northeastern U.S. whose missing persons cases begin to uncover a disturbing paranormal secret. It was told through the eyes of a writer following Edward Carnby and his co-worker for a novel and depicted them as real-life blue-collar folks who never expected to find hideous beings waiting for them in the dark. We tried to stick close to the H. P. Lovecraft style and the low-tech nature of the original game, always keeping the horror in the shadows so you never saw what was coming for them.


Thankfully Dr. Boll was able to hire his loyal team of hacks to crank out something much better than our crappy story and add in all sorts of terrifying horror movie essentials like opening gateways to alternate dimensions, bimbo blonde archaeologists, sex scenes, mad scientists, slimy dog monsters, special army forces designed to battle slimy CG dog monsters, Tara Reid, "Matrix" slow-motion gun battles, and car chases. Oh yeah, and a ten-minute opening back story scroll read aloud to the illiterate audience, the only people able to successfully miss all the negative reviews.


There were parts of that script apparently still in here. Where Carnby does the voice over bits, which vanish for long periods of times when the dumbass stuff is going on. This entire thing is a train wreck after the Uwe Bowel Movement got it’s fingers in there. Maybe that sex scene in the middle would have helped a little bit if just for the male gaze factor.


Don’t watch this dogshit of a movie. It’s not worth it.


"I hold here the last bit of my dignity that I pissed away by being in this film. But I got to rub up against Tara Reid so why not?"


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Friday, January 10, 2025

Roll a D10 - Things in a Solo's pockets.

 


Sometimes the gunman ends up going to the big rifle range in the sky. So it's up to everyone else to loot his body for goodies. Roll a D10 to see what you find. 

Things in a Solo’s pockets.

1 – A pack of imported cigarettes from some country on the other side of the world.

2 – Pair of shooting gloves.

3 – Pocket sized gun cleaning kit.

4 – Premium customer awards card for Johnny Automatics Gun Emporium.

5 – Extra wires for their smartlinked gear in case they need to go hardlined instead of wireless.

6 – Small pen sized laser distance finder.

7 – Palm sized derringer with a very large caliber round. The words “No Surrender” engraved on it.

8 – Caffeine in various forms; chewing gum, pills, gummies, etc.

9 – Hip flask filled with some really cheap, but strong, whiskey.

10 – A wallet with ID saying they are a police officer. Counterfeit of course.