just ranting

Personal rant I needed to do. Me bitching about something that most won't care about. So if you are here for gaming stuff just go ahead and skip to another post. I just gotta bitch someplace and facebook doesn't let me type this much.

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You hear people complaining about the use of certain words. They get angry when people nearby use them. Hell primetime television shows can get big rating boosts just because they are going to use the word 'shit' in an episode. Personally the word I keep finding more offensive than anything else is quite different from all the others.

Hope. I fucking hate that word. How people like to give it away and instill what it means into people. They tell people to hope and get them to hope only to actually have no intention of going through with anything they say. Keep your hopes up. Why? So they can just fall all that much further? I'm tired of it. People keep telling me to look on the positive side of things, that things will change, things will get better. Bullshit. False hope.

Somebody recently got my hopes up. Someone I could work together with to get out of the current situation in my life. I got that little tinge of happiness, that shining little ray of hope. Only to feel it burn as is it went black in a moment.

Really I'm tired of it. 'The harder you try the better things get' yeah except lets add in a sudden change in my family insurance plan that shoots it to a 5000 dollar deductible before they pay for ANYTHING at all. That's between a third to a fourth of my yearly take home income by the way, depending on how we work. Trying harder didn't do shit there. Try harder and watch the local school district constantly sending your children home with their hands out for such and such project/fund raiser/whatever. Making THEM feel guilty if I don't pay up something, forcing them to be the outsiders even more if I'm broke and can't do it. Trying harder did what? Busting my ass at work only to get wrote up when a sickness goes through my family and I end up missing days to stay home with one of my kids who is throwing up all night. Try harder...

Everybody can take their hope and shove it up their ass.

Why the FUCK can a single mother that makes the same as I do get government aid to help a little bit with daycare bills and some with food costs? Why is the system sat up to FUCK somebody who is white, male and happens to actually try and work for a living?

Why do people even bother trying to give others hope.