Monday, August 19, 2013

Rules for asshole gamemaster number three

There seems to be the common misconception that runs through a lot of the gaming hobby out there. That we have to accept everybody who wants in no matter what. We should greet them with open arms and friendly words despite of their actions or behavior.

This is, in my humble opinion, utter bullshit.

Now don't get me wrong here I am accepting of a lot of things. Social awkwardness, various quirks and odd habits, a lot of what gets some people ostracized from other circles I am fully aware of dealing with and allowing at my table. The ones I am talking about here are the ones who go far and beyond the average 'geek' who isn't familiar with interacting with people on a normal basis. The ones who continue, or in some cases increase, their strong anti-social tendencies even after you've sat down and had a talk with them about it.

The guy who seems okay at some points but hits on every female that comes around... as long as they are underage. I've seen this one at a local game shop, he was in his mid twenties and he seemed to like the ones who either weren't old enough to have a drivers license or just got one. Really creepy pedo factor every time I was near him.

Or how about the overly violent bully. He sees all the other players as inferior or stupid, usually the GM as well. Yells at other people for the decisions they make, threatens physical harm if they make a bad die roll. Usually states that he is the only one at the table with any form of intelligence quite loudly to the other people.

The drug addict who is always trying to get other people to join in with his habit. The kleptomaniac who thinks what is yours should be his and has no problem taking it. The guy who absolutely refuses to bathe that people on the other side of the room can smell. The ones who really push the boundaries way far and beyond their limits. Those folks are who I'm talking about.

What's my asshole gamemaster advice here? Kick them the fuck out, plain and simple. Their reputation will rub off on you and the rest of the group even if you don't want it to. Potential players may avoid your games because of a single individual at your table. Folks outside of the gaming hobby will notice the company you keep as well. Trust me, reputation is a big deal out there in the world. Not to mention legal repercussions from folks like the drug addict or pedophile types. Do you really want to testify in front of a court room that you've seen somebody dating underage girls for the last two or three years... and never reported it.

We don't have to accept everybody. Some people just cannot and will not fit in.


  1. I'm failing to see how this is "asshole" advice. It's not only good gaming advice, it's good life style advice. "Oh, you need to go do some lines? Yeah... you're going to need to leave now."

    1. Well the 'asshole gamemaster' articles are all things that I have done as a gamemaster that have gotten me labeled as an asshole. Refusing to game with these types of people just because "They are gamers...." has gotten quite a few folks aggravated locally. There seems to be the undercurrent of thought that we must accept everybody when really we don't.